


Dog and Butterfly

by Grace Kay (Drummerchick7)



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Break Up, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2014-03-04
Packaged: 2018-01-14 12:03:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1265833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drummerchick7/pseuds/Grace%20Kay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aethyta and Benezia were together for a hundred years, eventually growing apart. But how did they meet? Why did they decide to have a pureblood daughter? What was a big enough wedge between them to drive Aethyta away from Liara permanently? Smut warning, as well as feels. This is, by it's very nature, NOT a happy ending. Told largely through flashbacks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This project started in 2012 when another author and I ended up beginning a rapport. I praised her ability to write amazing plot, she praised my awesome smut, and we joked about working on a collaboration of plot and smut. Then I asked her for a smut request while I worked through some brief writer's block on Cowboys, Horses, and Girls, and she requested Benezia and Aethyta. What I ended up writing (the smut section of the first chapter) had so much potential for something better than just a sexy one-shot, that we decided to go for it, and drafted out an entire piece.
> 
> Then I started school, and I let it languish on my hard drive. Then she started another project and her life got super busy, and I started my Dragon Age fic, Forbidden Magic, all while this poor thing gathered dust. But now it is complete, and I'm going to post the whole thing, in its entirety. I hope you enjoy!

The house was quiet. The birds outside chirped with the sunrise. Steam rolled off the mug of tea, held in two slim blue hands. The smells of the early morning came to the owner of those hands, the glass of the windows having been removed centuries before in favor of kinetic barriers. The smell of the tea mingled with the fresh scents of the earth and flowers outside, making the woman smile as she leaned against the windowsill.

Her reverie was broken by a grumble from the hallway. Her smile widened, and she turned, leaning back against the sill as she took a first, tentative sip of her tea. She breathed it in as she sipped, taking one last quiet moment for herself before the day began in earnest. Not that she minded the day beginning. It just usually started with a storm cloud entering the living space in rumpled clothing.

"Really, Aethyta, putting clothing on is  _not_  that awful." More grumbling answered her, making her smile even more widely as she took another sip of her tea. As she put the mug down, the source of the grumbling stomped into the room.

Aethyta wore an extremely rumpled pair of loose trousers and a scowl, but nothing else, her large, heavy breasts seeming to sag with her mood. "You're lucky I put  _this_  much on, Nezzy," she grumped, walking directly up to her and sinking her forehead onto her shoulder. "Why are we up this early again?"

" _I_  didn't make you get up so early.  _You_  were the one who insisted upon being there with me." She cupped Aethyta's cheek for a moment, adding, "For which I am eternally grateful." She removed her hand from Aethyta's cheek and reached around her bondmate with both hands, softly scratching her nails from her shoulders to the small of her back. Aethyta let out a pleased sound, relaxing into the embrace. They stood holding each other for several minutes before Aethyta finally pulled back.

"Well," she gruffed, kissing Benezia on the cheek and walking to the kitchen. "If I'm going to be a father, I'd like to do it right." The sound of Aethyta's rummaging in the cupboards accompanied the gravelly tone of her voice. "I'm a mother – I know what it's like. But  _fuck_ , woman. You couldn't do this a little later in the day?"

Benezia smiled again, picking her tea back up and finishing it, not saying anything. She knew her bondmate well enough to know that she was simply  _not_  a morning person, possibly from so many years spent tending bar. And perhaps from her youth spent stripping.

Her smile faltered a little as she thought of the events that had led Aethyta from her life as a dancer to her life as a huntress. Aethyta's parents had done each other in, leaving the poor, lost woman utterly alone in the galaxy. That tragedy, coupled with her krogan-inherited temper, had landed her training as a huntress for the temple as she looked for answers – after sleeping her way through her fellow dancers, that is.

She had met Aethyta in this role. Her heart fluttered to think of the meeting, so passionate, so forbidden. As they got ready to go, to receive their christening in the temple for the child she now carried, she couldn't help but get slightly caught up in the memories; mostly pleasant, slightly bittersweet...

* * *

Benezia was drunk. That was the only way she could explain why she was quietly climbing the stairs to her room, another asari - with wandering hands - in tow. The woman had been the only entertaining part of an otherwise tedious evening, which was perhaps why she was leading her to bed. Or perhaps it was her luscious curves, showed off by a dress that no respectable young priestess-initiate like herself would wear. The woman was not another priestess, and it was doubtful she was a diplomat. She was too rough around the edges, too loud and more than a bit coarse. What she lacked in social grace, however, she more than made up for with a cocky self-assuredness that had drawn more than a few lingering gazes during the course of the evening. Though petite by asari standards, the size and force of her personality made her seem larger than life, and Benezia had found herself helplessly pulled in by her charisma.

Or maybe it was the dress. Goddess. Benezia couldn't quite recall if she'd learned why the other asari was at the function at all. She'd been far too busy being charmed by her gruff voice, her scandalous dress, and her intoxicating aroma as she leaned in to make some crude joke about the older asari matrons who were walking by.

At one point, as she was pulling away, Benezia had taken a risk, turning to face Aethyta and gently brushing her lips against the other woman's cheek. It was an innocent enough gesture, but Benezia hoped Aethyta would take it for how it was meant – as a question, a subtle request for more.

Benezia smirked at the memory. Aethyta had leaned in, placing her mouth so tantalizingly close that Benezia could feel her lips curve in a knowing grin against her neck. "Well damn, girl, I was beginning to think you weren't interested." The gruff whisper and the warm flush of Aethyta's breath against her skin had sent shivers travelling up Benezia's spine.

She had threaded her arm through Aethyta's and led her to a balcony outside, away from prying eyes, and pressed their bodies together. Aethyta had moaned as she wrapped her arms around Benezia's waist, pulling her even closer. That first kiss had been delicious. Their tongues had danced around each other, both their lips full and soft, alcohol on both their breaths. It was not the "dueling tongues" so often described in erotic literature – not that Benezia ever read that kind of thing, of course – but rather a firm exploration of each other's mouths.

Benezia had pulled away abruptly and turned, leading Aethyta away from the insufferable event, full of her sisters from the temple and academics from the University of Serrice nearby. Compared to the formal crowd barely visible through the marbled glass of the balcony window, Aethyta was a breath of fresh air. She wasn't afraid to say what she thought, and her ideas and attitude were vastly different from any asari maiden Benezia had ever met (Asari maidens didn't generally have a lot of opinions, being so busy trying to dance or kill things in merc bands, so she supposed it wasn't  _that_  hard to do). Aethyta was a heady blend of fascinating and sexy and Benezia wanted more. So she had made the bold move that would allow her to take it, leading her off to her bed.

Now, ten minutes later, they had circled the estate, somehow managed to climb the stairs, and stumbled through the arched hallway to her room. It had taken longer than it should have, as Aethyta proved that she could not keep her hands to herself. She would stop Benezia's progress every few feet to turn her around and kiss her, their lips erupting in fire whenever they met. When she did not halt their progress, she slowed it down by running her hands over Benezia's curves, trying to define them within the flowing dress that hung from Benezia's shoulders.

When they finally made it through the doorway, Aethyta pushed the door closed with her foot, scrabbling for the lock with one hand. As the lock slid home with an audible click, the game was on. Aethyta grabbed the fabric of Benezia's dress, pulling her in by her hips. Benezia let out a slight yelp, most of it swallowed by Aethyta's mouth as their lips crushed together. Benezia felt hands move up her sides, tickling her ribs through the fabric of her dress before finding the fastenings at the back. She could  _feel_  the other woman smiling into their kiss in her triumph at this discovery. Benezia, determined not to be outdone, found the exposed skin of Aethyta's hips, back, and shoulders, caressing every spot of skin she could find, trying to find Aethyta's weaknesses so she could exploit them. She'd never been a demanding lover, requiring only a meld and whatever her partner needed in order to enjoy herself, but something about this woman awoke something primal within her. She  _needed_  this woman inside her, both physically and mentally.

Aethyta smoothly slid Benezia's zipper down, peeling the dress off her torso as their tongues continued their dance. Neither vied for domination of the other's mouth, no excessive force was used; they simply could not taste enough of each other. As the dress came away from Benezia's skin, however, Aethyta released her mouth to press the soft fullness of her lips against Benezia's cheek and trail hot kisses down her throat, across her collar bone, and down onto her chest.

"Now  _these_  I have been dying to get my hands on," growled the gruff woman, her dark blue skin almost lost in the dark room. She took both of Benezia's large breasts in hand, letting the weight of each rest against her palms.

Benezia found it was awe-inspiring to be with someone who knew her body so well without needing to actually be familiar with  _her_ ; Aethyta knew what felt good because, as another asari, it felt good for her, too.

Aethyta's fingers kneaded the flesh of both breasts a moment, then reigned in the pressure, delicately stroking with her right hand while her left hand snaked around to settle in the small of Benezia's back, then down to cup her ass under her dress, squeezing and kneading it almost roughly. Benezia tried to complain, tried to huff and stamp her foot and demand more contact than the one breast and her backside, but Aethyta silenced her protests before they began with a hungry kiss. The contrast of the feather-light touches of her fingers, stroking her breast but avoiding her rapidly hardening nipple, and the forcefulness of the kiss and the hand kneading her ass sent flutters directly from the three points of contact into Benezia's core. She was already getting very wet; she could feel it, pooling between her legs, threatening to spill onto her underclothes.

Aethyta's attention shifted, now focused on slithering her left hand back so she could tease both breasts, trailing kisses across Benezia's collarbone and back up onto her throat, sometimes nipping, sometimes sucking. Every time Benezia let out a noise, be it whimper or moan, Aethyta voiced her pleasure, sometimes growling, sometimes almost purring, always with a cocky smile that Benezia could feel against her skin.

Benezia was frustrated that her dress was still hanging from her hips. She removed her hands from Aethyta's exposed skin, her lips now caught, and reached for her own dress, wanting the offending garment removed fully. She had enough presence of mind to not shred it off with her biotics. Under normal circumstances, she liked the dress; these were not normal circumstances, however. Instead, she tugged at it, trying desperately to wiggle her hips out even as she arched her back to try to get firmer contact on her aching breasts.

Aethyta tsked as she moved her kisses from the hollow of Benezia's throat up onto her jawline. "Some priestess. Isn't patience one of Athame's virtues?"

Benezia lifted her chin and spoke in her most imperious voice. "I have waited long enough; now kindly finish what you started." She tried very hard not to sound like a child, hoping she sounded every bit as commanding and powerful as she didn't feel.

"Oh, I always finish what I start," Aethyta growled. Removing her hands from Benezia's aching breasts and stepping back so that no part of their skin was touching, she clutched Benezia's dress in both hands. Sliding her fingertips under the waistband of her undergarments, she yanked down roughly and both garments fell free to pool around her feet.

Now naked, Benezia's chest heaved, her hands almost, but not quite, shaking at her sides. She had been undressed before, but no lover had ever made her feel so laid bare and vulnerable. She was not accustomed to losing control, to having her power so thoroughly and easily stripped away. Under Aethyta's hungry gaze, she felt all her refinement slip away.

Aethyta's manner, the growl to her voice, the way she handled Benezia so surely and roughly, robbed the young priestess-to-be of her last shred of poise. With her clothes went her need to command Aethyta, to demand what she wanted from her. Instead, she  _needed_  the woman to handle her so, to take what she wanted from her, to chip away at the haughty exterior Benezia had cultivated for her duties as a T'Soni and a priestess of Athame. She longed to pull the woman to her, feel her skin against her own, caress the erogenous zone she knew she'd find buried in the other asari's crest. Goddess, she was ready to beg, but she was so powerless, so helplessly enthralled, all she could do was stand there and let Aethyta take in the sight of her. The simple submission of that act alone was enough to coat her inner thighs with wetness. Just when she thought she could stand the separation no longer, the other asari pounced.

Benezia found herself forced back onto the bed, Aethyta's warm body hovering above her. In one swift move the dark-skinned woman's dress was gone, and then a warm, naked body pressed hers into the bed. Desperate to touch, she raked her nails down every part of Aethyta that she could reach, her own skin on fire where they touched. Aethyta moaned, Benezia moaned, and then two fingers found their way inside of Benezia, so very easily, as Aethyta's mouth finally, _finally_  closed around an achingly stiff nipple. Benezia's back arched as she gasped with pleasure, her nails digging into Aethyta's shoulders.

Her pace was slow, long, pulling all the way out before pushing all the way in. She explored Benezia with her fingers, finding all the right buttons to push, her mouth kissing and sucking on every inch of skin she could reach.

After what felt like an eternity, Aethyta pulled back, still buried deep inside of Benezia, who was becoming delirious with the need to Join, but unwilling to take charge of the situation. "You like losing control like this, don't you? When was the last time you removed that stick from your ass long enough to  _fucking_  enjoy yourself?"

"I… I…" Benezia couldn't make a reply, too focused on Aethyta's fingers inside of her.

Aethyta shifted them, pushing forward and up, making Benezia practically squeal. "I bet no one else has ever gotten you to make that noise before. I don't peg you for someone who let's your partner take control like this. You're not generally this type of woman." Her voice was that signature gruff, gravelly voice that just  _dripped_  sex.

Aethyta's hand stilled. Benezia's eyes shot open, seeking the answer to why the other woman would think of stopping  _now_. She found Aethyta's smirk, and understood. Aethyta's questions weren't actually rhetorical.

The woman wanted an answer.

"Yes," she said, after searching Aethyta's eyes for another moment. She squirmed, feeling the other woman inside of her. "I have never…  _needed_  someone like this." She wasn't sure how to articulate what she meant, that she needed the other asari to strip away the more than a century's worth of manners, poise, politeness. She needed her control to be taken away, to lose herself in the other asari. Instead of trying to articulate it, she reached out her hand to cup Aethyta's cheek, letting her eyes swirl black as she initiated a very shallow meld. It was only deep enough to communicate her feelings, the need, the lust, the ache between her legs and in her mind for Aethyta to be as deeply buried as possible, in both places.

Aethyta responded by immediately thrusting forward, both with her hand and her mind, deepening their meld to a full Joining, enveloping Benezia's mind in her own even as Benezia accepted Aethyta inside of her core.

Benezia gasped, the pleasure so exquisite it was almost unbearable. She'd never been with someone whose mental presence was so commanding, so powerful. She'd never been with someone who had such control over where they went within her mind. She didn't have to be so careful about what was shown, about what was laid bare; Aethyta knew how not to look where she wasn't explicitly invited. And yet it was the only time so far in her life that she _wanted_  the other to see everything,  _wanted_  to be completely vulnerable, have that commanding presence fill her up, hold her, make her sob in ecstasy. It was like a drug.

Aethyta could see and feel all of it. The thoughts of vulnerability and submission, the willingness of her partner, the arousal of them both, caused Aethyta to deepen the meld even further, into that dangerous place where a child could be conceived if they were not careful. All sense of "I" disappeared, replaced by need and shared pleasure. They writhed together on the bed, gasping, cursing, and clawing at each other, their minds tangled until there was only raw pleasure, dizzying in its scope. Never before had either of them had such a climax as this, prodding each other physically, enveloped in each other mentally, all emotions, all memories, all experiences laid bare for the other to revel in.

As they came back, oh so slowly, to themselves, finally able to separate "you" from "me," they both experienced a twinge of regret, neither able to identify who it originated with. Benezia lay on her back, legs spread, Aethyta's hips nestled between them. Aethyta's fingers were still buried inside her as far as they would go, thumb resting gently on her clitoris. They lay together cheek to cheek, panting to the same inaudible beat. Their meld was still shallow, neither willing to completely separate from the other. Benezia pushed slightly on Aethyta's shoulders, urging her face up. Black, shining eyes met, and Benezia stroked Aethyta's cheek lovingly, smiling into her beautiful face. She wanted to share everything she was with this stunning creature. She communicated without words, showing her a childhood of rules and restrictions, an absent father and a distant mother who was difficult to please.

In turn, she was shown Aethyta's explosive parents, her father and mother creating and rearing her in passion, then killing each other in rage. Tears were shared, caresses exchanged, loving kisses and tender strokes. Before long, they were making love, fondness and affection flaring to life as their meld deepened once more. Their pace was less fevered, less about the destination and more about the journey, though no less intense, and ended with them collapsing in each other's arms after they both shuddered and cried out their release.

Hours later, as Aethyta lay curled around her and sleeping softly, Benezia rolled over in her arms and quietly studied her face, desperately trying to quell the panic flaring in her chest. What in the world was she going to do?

 


	2. Chapter 2

Benezia's brows furrowed slightly while she listened to the priestess, causing the unique markings to gather together. Aethyta had always found them fascinating. All of her bondmate was fascinating, really. She loved her light blue skin, so different from her own dark indigo. Nezzy had chosen, all this time, to remain without any tattoos, much like Aethyta had, making her face that much more interesting in its simple beauty. Even her scales were a point of interest, light upon already pale skin, barely detectable when she ran her fingers over the woman's jaw, over her crests, yet standing out so starkly visually.

She was glad Nezzy was carrying the baby. Maybe she'd get her mother's brow markings.

"And by the Goddess Athame, may your Womb be blessed, your Carrying be healthy, and your Birth be smooth."

The priestess continued on, but Aethyta wasn't listening. She was staring at her bondmate as she held her, wondering again how she had gotten so damn lucky to get to know this creature well enough that she actually found parts of her annoying (what marriage didn't, right?). Their first meeting, at barely 150 years in age, had been passion incarnate, followed by the bitter pill of the real world. In her fear, as her mask of propriety settled back in, Benezia had brushed Aethyta off, insulting her place within the temple as a huntress and her lower class parentage by the end. Aethyta had left dejected. Dejected, and pissed off.

She'd walked around with a storm cloud over her head for three days before shaking it off, hooking up with one of her sisters-in-arms. She'd fucked away her woes in a cave on the temple grounds while the two huntresses were supposed to be sleeping in their bunks. She'd felt better after that. She hadn't run into Benezia for decades, transferring to another temple and almost succeeding in forgetting about her. She never did forget that night and its following morning, though…

* * *

_Aethyta awoke slowly. She had not been very drunk the night before, which was unlike her, and she was now having the entirely unique experience (for her) of waking up next to someone **without**  her head pounding._

_She ran a hand along the bare arm that encircled her waist, studied the peaceful face that rested mere inches from her own. She could feel the warm breaths as they were exhaled, could smell the touch of morning breath mixed with the heady scent that was **Benezia** , and it brought a smile to her face._

_She'd seen so much of this woman the night before. She was Benezia T'Soni, priestess of Athame, youngest member of one of the oldest houses on Thessia, only child – a rare thing – of a woman who had finally decided to reproduce as she was upon her Matriarch years. And as Aethyta had watched Benezia's childhood unfold, experienced her first years in the temple, her first lovers come and go, Aethyta had fallen completely in love. As she was entrusted with such knowledge, granting her so much power over someone usually so unwilling to relinquish that power, she'd made a solemn pact with herself to never betray it. She would never, ever hurt this powerful woman who had made herself so very **vulnerable**  in Aethyta's embrace._

_Aethyta cupped Benezia's cheek and kissed her forehead, breathing in her scent. The woman stirred in her arms, her cheek shifting on Aethyta's arm, having used it as a pillow all night. When her eyes opened, Aethyta smiled at her, loving how expressive the markings over her brows made her face. But the look she received in response troubled her. It was a look of carefully schooled shock, of panic, like the look she received when she – seemingly small, lacking physical power – cornered an opponent._

_"Good morning." Aethyta searched those eyes, liking what she saw less and less. The look was quickly turning from panic to ice._

_Benezia pulled her eyes away and rolled onto her back. Just before she did, Aethyta watched as an unreadable mask descended over Benezia's face, as if steeling her resolve._

_"Good morning." Benezia's tone was curt, cool, like she was speaking to a new acquaintance at a meeting. Like she was speaking to a stranger. Aethyta couldn't figure out why, though. She'd seen into the woman's mind the night before, felt what she felt, and shared herself in return. They were not strangers, not anymore. What had changed so drastically while they slept as to make Benezia shut her out?_

_"I hope no one missed you after we left," Aethyta ventured, also sitting, letting the sheet pool around her hips. Her people were not a self-conscious people, she least of all, not after a salarian-lifetime spent shaking her ass in a club to pay the bills. It had been fun, sure, but after her parents ended each other over centuries-old conflicts, the fun had soured. She sought something more meaningful, and had found herself on the steps of the temple. Not being one for a lifetime of peaceful worship, she had sought training with the temple's huntresses. The temple warriors were almost as revered as the priesthood, hence her inclusion at the event the previous evening. She was a novice, but included nonetheless._

_Benezia continued to avert her gaze, getting up from the bed, also lacking any self-consciousness in her nudity as she walked to the adjoining washroom. Aethyta couldn't take her eyes off the swaying hips, the two round globes, the twin dimples on either side of the small of her back. **How did I manage to get her to bed me?**_

_"It was late. We should be fine. You should leave now, however. The house staff will be waking soon."_

_"So we're sneaking around, then?"_

_Benezia finally looked at her, poking her head around the entrance to the small washroom. "Surely you weren't expecting me to treat you to breakfast? You can show yourself out." Her tone was cold, her expression making it clear that Aethyta was not a conquest that she would be bragging about._

_Aethyta's anger flared. Her temper was always close to the surface, though training with the temple, directing her hot-headedness to more useful outlets – like the best way to snap a person's neck with her biotics (or her bare hands) – had made her better able to school it._

_"Hold on right there, Princess. Last night was amazing. I don't need you to tell me that to know how you felt about it. I understand I'm not exactly who a T'Soni is expected to sleep with-"_

_"You are right, you are not. Now, please leave." Benezia now stood in the threshold completely, body on display, face showing her disdain._

_Aethyta stood, as well, doing her best to tamp down on her temper once more. "So you don't deny that the reason for treating me like a damn whore is because I'm another asari?"_

_"Asari, huntress, dancer – there are many reason why taking you to my bed was a mistake. It was not my intent to have you believe that this could lead anywhere but here."_

_Aethyta stalked around the bed, feeling a little ridiculous getting this pissed while this naked, the smell of their lovemaking still clinging to the air, her dress somewhere on the floor. "It doesn't have to be like this. You're a remarkable woman," she said, her voice softening. "You could go against expectations. What's gonna happen, huh? Not like you're in a krogan clan. No one's gonna bloodrage on you."_

_"No," replied Benezia, eyes narrowing. "No, that would be something that would come from your people, wouldn't it?" And she turned, leaving the room, ending the conversation._

_"Fuck," Aethyta breathed. She found her dress, feeling ridiculous in the scandalous thing in the morning light, and let herself out of the room. It took her several moments to find the exit, having not paid much attention the night before. She returned to the temple shamed, wanting nothing more than to pound her biotically wreathed fist up someone's ass._

* * *

"I will leave you two to clean up here. Congratulations on the life you are bringing to this world." The Matriarch priestess's words brought Aethyta blinking out of her memories. The woman smiled warmly, knowingly, placing a hand on each of their cheeks in turn before leaving the chamber. Aethyta looked back to her bondmate, naked in the pool of seawater.

"I don't see why they still have us do this naked."

Benezia smirked, a single brow rising. "And  _I_  never thought you would complain about my nudity, especially in such close proximity to  _yours_." She pointedly raked her eyes down Aethyta's naked body.

Aethyta snorted. "Who said I was complaining?" She lurched forward, the water splashing as she snagged Benezia around the waist and pulled her in for a wet, dramatically loud kiss. Benezia yelped in surprise, though melted into the second, less joking and more passionate kiss that followed. Aethyta would need to revel in this while it lasted, while Benezia still wasn't showing. After that, she'd never have a moment alone with her, not for at  _least_  the next twenty years. _Maybe I need to put the locks back on the doors…_

She pulled back and stood up, pulling Benezia along with her. They shared a moment in their embrace, Aethyta trying and failing to capture some deep spiritual significance in the ancient rite they'd just participated in. Instead, she just tried to capture meaning from the embrace they shared, their family of three already formed in the circle of those arms.  _That_ , she could feel. This baby was going to be something special, she had no doubt.

* * *

"You've never been able to keep your hands to yourself."

Aethyta smirked. "You know it. Now, are you gonna help me, or am I gonna have to do all the work myself?"

Benezia rolled her eyes, but obliged, reaching behind herself to undo her dress. "So what prompted this? The naked sea bath at the temple? Or was it being in the temple itself that made you feel like pouncing?" The dress was up over her head in a flash, Aethyta's hands settling on her favorite pair of breasts as Benezia's rested lightly on Aethyta's shoulders.

"I need a reason to make love to my bondmate?" Benezia only raised an eyebrow, a look that never failed to make Aethyta's blood pound. "Fine," she growled, moving her hands along Nezzy's sides, slipping them around her waist and pulling the two of them close. "First it was just being in the temple that got me thinking of this. Then it was you naked. Then it was us naked together, in the temple. Can you blame me?"

Benezia's laugh filled the room. She continued to chuckle as Aethyta dipped her lips to meet her throat, her fingers pressing into the small of her back. It only took another few moments for it to turn into a breathy moan, however, Aethyta's fingernails just digging in to her skin as she traced them up and down her back.

"So I take it you're interested, then." Aethyta's voice, normally low and gruff, was now lower and gruffer, somewhere between a growl and a purr.

Benezia's hands slid from Aethyta's shoulders to her hips, her eyes already going black as she sought entrance to Aethyta's mind. Aethyta opened up immediately, losing herself in their combined consciousness.

Sometimes, when they Joined, the acts of lovemaking were starkly detailed; every act, every motion, coming into focus like an infinite stream of still images. Other times, they postponed the Joining purposely, choosing to focus on the many inventive things they could do to each other, exploring kinks and curiosities; the Joining was short and fast during these times, usually followed by a tender session of lovemaking to fully satiate their Bonding needs. Yet other times, their lovemaking flowed by like water, their combined awareness more concerned with the swirling thoughts and memories, release being sought and reached without a lot of intention, their bodies carrying them there through a century of practice.

This time was like that. Aethyta swam in a sea that was the two of them, without time, until the rush of the water matched the pounding of her blood and she cried her release in tandem with Benezia. As her awareness returned to her, she found that they were naked, tangled in each other's limbs, pushed against the door into the house, where this whole thing had started. She leaned against it, Benezia sagging in her arms, their breathing evening out, the sweat on their skin drying in the still-cool morning air.

She smiled as she looked down at her bondmate. She smelled so good, and she was always so warm. Right now it pulsed off of her, radiating outward and making Aethyta almost too hot, confined between the door and Benezia. She didn't mind, though, opting to hold her for several more moments, enjoying the feeling of her breathing, of her skin pressed against hers. But then, as with all things, it ended, and they straightened, getting dressed while speaking about the mundane things of daily life. It was better to attend the meeting they were headed to like this, with the glow from their union still shining brightly from both of them.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Aethyta stopped by the restaurant she owned, making sure everything was in order. It had started out as a dive bar, which she had tended for the owner. Nezzy had found her here, and not long after they had finally crossed wrists, after centuries of letting life get in their way. With Benezia's help, she had purchased the place, turning it into a successful, higher-class restaurant, in addition to a full-service bar. She'd learned a lot from Nezzy, investing her money being just one of them. So she stopped by the restaurant everyday, checking in on things, seeing if her managers needed anything from her, and making sure everything was in tip-top shape.

Sitting in her office and going over the books, she stopped momentarily to look at a picture. It was one of many she had framed and sitting around various places where she spent time. She had plenty in her house, and plenty in this room. This one had to be here, though, because she didn't really want Nezzy seeing it. It was a picture of her bondmate, when she was very young, only maybe two hundred years old. Aethyta had snapped the holo with her omnitool in secret, as the naked asari had slumbered.

It had been a bittersweet reunion. Aethyta had still been with the temple, now training huntresses. She was very successful at it, training them one at a time in the apprentice tradition. She had even refrained from sleeping with any of her apprentices, which had been an exercise in self-restraint for her, since they were always young, hot, and eager-to-please. More than one had attempted to throw herself at the older asari, leaving Aethyta in the unfamiliar position of pushing a willing woman  _away_. She had been celibate for years by that point, knowing that nameless encounters were no longer to her taste. Still, it occasionally tested her resolve.

But then she had gone to that function honoring new priestesses in Armali, and there was Benezia.

* * *

_Aethyta seethed. She didn't listen to any of the ceremony, simply standing at attention as best she could and staring at the most disappointing sexual encounter she'd ever had. She knew Benezia had noticed her, as she had literally flinched when she had passed the other asari in procession to the front of the temple. She had then stood there, looking everywhere but at Aethyta while the huntress had attempted to bore a hole through the priestess's face with the intensity of her glare alone._

_When the new priestesses were actually presented, they walked up as a group to have a blessing before the statue of Athame. The congregation spoke their part of the ceremony aloud, and then the high priestess did her part, and then they were officially priestesses of Athame. That was all it took. The initiates didn't even have to **do**  anything. Aethyta had had to lead a couple of green recruits through the wastelands of Tuchanka to get her rank – these soft ladies of the cloth simply had to stand there and look pretty._

_Her scowl deepened._

_Finally, they were released for the reception. Aethyta put herself right at the door, her current apprentice on the other side. She got there just in time to see Benezia walk through it, doing her best to ignore the huntress standing watch at the door. Aethyta glared, watching the other asari out of the corner of her eye as she practically glided through the room. Benezia talked with almost everyone in the room, including other huntresses; everyone but Aethyta, who she continued to act as though she had not seen._

_"Aethyta, do you know that priestess?"_

_Aethyta's eyes slid over to her apprentice. "What priestess?"_

_A knowing smirk. "The woman who you keep following with your eyes," she clarified._

_"How about you shut it and watch for security risks instead of watching me?"_

_Her apprentice just chuckled, returning her eyes to the crowd. Damn these maidens and their insatiable curiosity. Aethyta sighed. Sometimes she missed the freedom of being a maiden._

_"Hey," she said after a minute. "Why don't you go get something to eat? Guarding these things is kind of a joke, anyway. Just, you know, don't fuck anyone. Not until later, anyway." Her apprentice snorted, shaking her head as she headed off into the crowd._

_Aethyta relaxed, having lost track of Benezia in the crowd. Maybe it was better this way. The entire last three hours, she couldn't get the echo of the woman's touch out of her head. The ghost of Benezia's mind had stayed with Aethyta, her history plaguing the matron when she slept. Part of the reason she had decided to be celibate – until she met someone she'd like to settle down with, at least – was because she got tired of her one-night-stands knowing that history, that she had fallen so deeply in love with another asari, and in only one night. Their pitying expressions and damnable questions weren't worth the orgasm. Not anymore._

_After some time had passed, and just as she was well and truly beginning to relax, she spotted Benezia again. The priestess was heading right for her, in fact. She narrowed her eyes, watching the priestess approach the door, wondering if and when she'd make eye contact. Ten feet away, she finally did, her eyes flicking up to Aethyta's for the barest of moments._

_She flinched._

_Then she glided away, seeming as if she had meant to, but Aethyta knew it was because she was avoiding the huntress. She smirked. Oh, this was going to be a fun game. Benezia would **never**  be able to leave._

* * *

Aethyta was startled out of her reverie by a knocking on the door. "Yeah?"

"Your appointment is here, Aethyta."

She scowled. "Give me a minute. Have them wait in the chair outside the door."

"Sure thing."

She studied the picture in her hands once more. She had finally cornered Benezia after the priestess had avoided her all day. It had taken some doing, but she'd gotten her to talk. It had been… heated, to say the least, Aethyta putting on her best angry growl while the priestess had spoken in the same haughty tone she'd used that awful morning after their first encounter.

In the end, Benezia had broken down, admitting that she hadn't forgotten the rough-voiced matron for all those years. She'd said Aethyta had wormed her way into her mind, and hadn't truly left. All it took was one kiss from Aethyta after that, and their clothes were on the floor of Benezia's quarters inside the temple, their minds joined almost immediately. That time they had confessed their love for the other, out loud, Aethyta stripping away Benezia's control, her austere demeanor, with the presence of her mind and the power of her body.

But they had still had to part ways. Aethyta had snapped this holo before falling asleep herself, after their conversation that they couldn't be together, it was too much of a scandal. Being in love did not negate Benezia's chosen path within the temple, and a priestess simply could not marry another asari. They had left it at that, unwilling to talk about any options of carrying on in secret, and Aethyta had been gone before the priestess woke up, turning in a transfer request to a colony far away from Thessia.

Aethyta sighed, putting the framed picture back on her desk. She got up, went to the door, and began the interview with her potential new bartender. Why was she remembering all these depressing moments today?


	4. Chapter 4

Benezia sat in the private transport, her newest commando recruit sitting across from her. Shiala was young, a maiden of perhaps 150 years – Benezia didn't know, nor did she ask. The woman's age wasn't important to the older matron, only her skill and her loyalty. Benezia had left the priesthood when she married Aethyta, but she still served an important role within the temple, acting as a liaison between the temple and the Council of Matriarchs, and as such, needed escort, to protect her – especially during her pregnancy. She was currently on her way to the office she kept at the temple, where she would see to some things before heading to her office at the capital building.

"Matriarch… I thought it wise to tell you that I have overheard some… troubling talk." Shiala kept her eyes down as she spoke.

Benezia looked away from the window to the young maiden. "Oh?"

The huntress nodded. "Yes, ma'am. Among the other commandos."

"I see." Benezia furrowed her brows. "Were these assigned to priestesses, or the others who serve  _me_?"

"The others, Matriarch. They say-"

Benezia held up a hand to halt her, a smile on her face, her brows smooth. "Please, Shiala. Call me Benezia. I am not even technically a matriarch yet, anyway, even if I serve the Council. I do not care what the others might have to say of me, as long as it is not the women who spend their time in my care. Rumors always abound; if I cared to try to stop them, to correct them, I would die trying." She put her hand down and settled into her seat. "Others can say what they will about me, as long as no one who works for me does so within my space."

"Yes, ma- Benezia."

She studied the commando. Her skin had a lot of purple to it, and the facial markings upon her face were centered around her eyes, with just a hint of a darker purple mark bisecting her bottom lip. The scales upon her face were almost invisible, very different from most asari. The most remarkable thing about her, however, was her eyes – they were a startling bright green. They contrasted starkly with Aethyta's, which were such a dark blue they were almost black. She smiled, thinking of her bondmate.

"It was regarding Aethyta, wasn't it?"

"I'm sorry?"

"The rumors," Benezia clarified. "They were regarding my choice of bondmate, yes?" A nod. She paused, considering her words. "How do  _you_  feel about that, Shiala? About my pregnancy?"

"I wouldn't dream to tell you how to live your life, ma'am."

"That's not what I asked, Shiala. You can be honest, speak your mind – you see some of my most intimate moments, it's only fair I know about the people who serve me."

Shiala blinked, shifted her eyes. "I… do not know what to think, ma'am."

"Benezia," she corrected gently.

"B- Benezia. I admit that I would have thought it wrong when I first came to you, but it has been several months, and I have had a chance to witness the obvious love you and your bondmate share. I confess I cannot think it wrong any longer – surely a child made from such strong, wise people would be a wonderful addition to our race?"

Benezia smiled. "I'm glad we could change your mind, Shiala."

She was quiet a moment before getting the matriarch's attention once more. "If you don't mind me asking, how did you two find each other?"

Benezia cocked her head. "What do you mean?"

Shiala's brow furrowed. "Well… how long have you known each other?"

Her eyes went unfocused as she thought back, trying to count the years. "A… very long time." She refocused, smiling. "We met as maidens, when I was a young initiate in the temple."

"Have you been bonded that whole time?"

Benezia held back a small frown. "No. No, I took some… persuasion. Aethyta broke down my resolve… slowly. Over time." They had been fun encounters, but Benezia now felt guilty for her behavior when they first met. The following encounters were much more… egalitarian. They were pulled apart by duty, or by not knowing how to be together in their worlds. "We crossed wrists nearly a hundred years ago now."

Shiala considered her for a moment. "That is… rather unique. Most asari who are able to be bonded to one person for so long are bonded to krogan."

Benezia chuckled. "Well, Aethyta's father was krogan, and you've met her – she definitely inherited a krogan's temper. So perhaps it is not so unique…"

* * *

_She would not move from the door. At this point Benezia really had no one left to speak with, and she wanted to slip out and introduce herself to the office space she would now have to herself. But the huntress had placed herself at the door and seemed perfectly content to stay there until the festivities were over._

_"This is ridiculous," she said aloud, though very quietly, to herself. "I am a grown matron – a priestess of the temple of Athame! I can walk past an old lover with my dignity intact." So she did. She walked right past Aethyta with her head held high._

_She was completely unprepared, however, for the huntress's proximity. She passed close enough to touch the other asari without any effort, and as she passed, the warrior's scent momentarily overtook her. Images flashed in her mind of the huntress's naked body, her dark blue flesh, her perky breasts, the look of her sex under low light. She could almost feel the woman's strong arms around her, her warm, callused hands whipping her body into a lustful frenzy. She saw flashes of their Joinings, of the unique colors and gradients of warmth she had come to associate with Aethyta's mind in just that one night._

_It was just a flash, though, and after a moment she continued on, refusing to acknowledge the other woman's presence, even as she was silently overwhelmed by it._

_She made it to her new office without further incident. Letting herself in, she immediately sunk into the chair, looking at the unadorned stone desk without really seeing it. All she saw was a small yet powerful naked asari who had completely stripped her bare, leaving her begging for her release, both physical and emotional. That woman had completely broken her down, tearing through the carefully crafted veneer of her station – shattering it, really – and finding the scared child underneath, the one who was afraid of upsetting her distant mother, her austere turian father; the scared person underneath who was afraid of abandonment, and so pushed others away before they had the chance to do so to her. Aethyta had found her and held her, soothing her hurts, reaffirming her hopes and dreams, and in the process making her feel such a real, visceral pleasure that she had never before nor since felt with another lover._

_A sound near the door broke her of her reverie. Looking up, she saw the source of her anxiety, of so many bittersweet dreams that had left her awake and aroused, panting and wanting for her touch._

_Aethyta._

_"Avoiding me isn't really the hallmark of a priestess of Athame." Her voice was just as gruff, possibly even more so. She stood just as small as she had, and yet somehow commanded attention, filling up the doorway with her very **being**. She wore her leathers with the practiced ease of someone who had worn them, fought in them, lived, eaten, and fucked in them for years, her movements liquid and comfortable. Benezia was uncomfortable with what had awakened within at the mere sight of the woman, reinforced by the assault upon her senses at the woman's proximity. Even now, the familiar scent, mixed with the scent of her leathers and the vague smell of sweat, of flesh, bodies, was encroaching upon the space, seeping into her office and surrounding her, awakening her need._

_She stood, hoping to command her own attention, use her own presence to fight back against the onslaught on her senses. She also hoped to fight back against her own treacherous body, which wanted nothing more than for the huntress to march in and take her right here upon the desk. It wasn't working._

_"What do you mean, 'avoiding you'?"_

_Aethyta crossed her arms over her chest, a smirk pulling at her lips. "C'mon, don't dick me around, Benezia. You know perfectly well that you haven't wanted to walk by me all night."_

_She sighed. "What makes you think anything about today has been about you at all, Aethyta?" No use pretending like she didn't remember the woman – they both knew she did._

_Aethyta scowled, her unadorned face pulling taut as her brows furrowed over her eyes. "Don't give me that shit, sweetheart. You haven't been able to come near me tonight. I saw you flinch when you noticed me at the start of the ceremony. Then you looked everywhere **but**  me while you were being promoted. Then you couldn't come anywhere near that doorway during the party. When you finally did, you stopped dead for a second right next to me. I saw your eyes dilate." She stepped into the room. "You might have tossed me out of your house like a Goddess-damn pyjak, but I got in your head, honey. I know what you want, what you wish you could have. Don't try to pretend any different."_

_Benezia blinked. She didn't know what to say. Falling back on what she knew, she schooled her face and drew herself up to her full height, which was an inch or two above Aethyta's. "Do not use such foul language in this House of Athame. We had a drunken tumble, which I immediately regretted, and you have just reinforced the reasons why I regret it."_

_"Oh? And what are those, Princess?"_

_She raised a single brow. "You are a foul-mouthed huntress from a House so unknown you don't even have an asari House name, daughter of a commando who bonded with a krogan. You have a temper to match those foul creatures, and you spent your early days stripping in order to make money. One of my station should never have even crossed paths with you, but somehow you wormed your way into attending that celebration in my home. You did not belong there, and you did not belong in my bed." She furrowed her brows. "I deserve far better than you."_

_She knew that what she said would sting. What she did not know was that Aethyta would get mad in her hurt. Aethyta was clearly angry, however, her face a carefully calm mask and yet showing her full **rage**  as she stalked into the room._

_Benezia was even more unprepared for Aethyta's biting slap across her cheek. She lifted a hand to the spot immediately, looking into the huntress's eyes as she barely held back tears of indignation._

_"I may not be of a high and mighty House like **you** , T'Soni, but I at least know a good person when I see one. And try as you might to prove me wrong, I know you're a good person under all that House T'Soni bullshit. But you cling to it like a lifeline out in space. It's complete shit, Benezia. You're scared shitless, and you don't know how else to act so you fall back on  **this**  shit." She towered over the priestess, even in her diminutive height, Benezia staring open-mouthed, her hand still to her cheek. The huntress opened her mouth again, her face now in a scowl instead of her previous mask of rage. "Let me in again, and I can show you the real  **you** , the one who didn't give a shit that I was of a lower House, the one who is the true Priestess who cherishes  **life**  in all its fucked-up glory."_

_With the last words, Benezia could feel Aethyta's presence outside her mind, tickling the edges, restraining herself from pushing her way in. The priestess yearned for it, had wanted the other asari inside of her in whatever way she could get for **years** , and could not help but let her in now, even as she vocally professed her disdain for the shorter woman. She was overwhelmed by warmth, by swirling Earthen colors that swarmed in and around her, underneath her, immediately holding her aloft, pulling her in until she was completely surrounded. She was in a warm mental embrace, floating softly in the essence of the powerful huntress before her. Her physical world melted away, replaced by images pulled to the forefront by the person she was melded with._

_She saw herself as a child, tutored by a string of lower-class asari matrons, playing with these women's children, confused when her mother wouldn't allow them in certain rooms or to play with Benezia's toys, having it explained that she was better than these girls and embodying that superiority in order to please the distant matron who was on the cusp of her matriarch years. Her father, rarely around because of his active duty in the turian military, would encourage whatever her mother wanted, and would spend little time with her, favoring her mother's company. When he did spend time with her, he would become frustrated or angry with her inability to act like a turian child of a similar age, even though he knew very well that asari children matured more slowly._

_Another memory surfaced, of her first Joining, with a turian male. He had used her body in the way males did, allowing her to Join with him to seek her own pleasure, but not seeking to give her any pleasure on his own. The next image was of a similar encounter with a Batarian female, though she was softer, more to Benezia's taste, and encounters after that tended to be female. She preferred their warmth, their understanding, their more familiar bodies. She preferred their minds, their hands, their memories and their general natural predisposition toward sharing and comforting. She never let them see her hurt from her life, though, always the one in control of the Joining, always the one directing the contact with her mind._

_Then Aethyta had come. She saw it now, Aethyta sharing their encounter in vivid detail, except this time, she also experienced it how the other asari had experienced it. She felt the other asari's arousal, saw herself through Aethyta's eyes. She experienced the huntress's need to strip her bare, to break down the walls that she had built in self-preservation since her childhood. She experienced the shadow of Aethyta's raw presence, her immense power, and how the huntress used it to break Benezia down and build her back up again, soothing her hurts and giving her immense pleasure. She then saw the hurt she had caused the next morning, how she had demeaned the woman, completely devaluing the connection they had shared._

_She felt like a monster._

_Aethyta withdrew slowly, gently, sliding back out of her mind in a way that left Benezia breathless but whole. When her senses returned to her, she found herself held in the huntress's arms, tears streaming down her face and leaking upon the other asari's leathers. Realizing her situation, she tried to pull back, but Aethyta wouldn't let her._

_"Oh, no you don't," she growled, wrapping her arms more tightly around the priestess. "I'm not letting you do that again. I'm woman enough to admit I love you, and I know you love me, and I'm not letting you retreat into yourself and throw up your damned walls again. Not yet. Not until you admit it."_

_Benezia looked up into those eyes, so deep blue they might be black, and shuddered at the certainty there. The only thing she was certain of at the moment was that she had never been **that**  certain of herself in her life. Her life had been full of doubt, and covering it up by acting like she had with Aethyta all those years ago._

_She opened her mouth. "I…"_

_She didn't get any further, as Aethyta growled for her to shut up at that moment, closing the distance between them and claiming her lips in a fierce kiss that rocked the very ground upon which Benezia stood._

* * *

Benezia smiled as she recalled just what had happened after that kiss she had waited so long for, all while trying to deny her absolute  _need_. Aethyta had lain her down on her desk, literally stripped her bare, and made slow, deliberate love to her, easing her doubts as they cropped up with her certainty, her commanding presence, her very  _being_. By the end of it, they lay upon the floor of her office, spent and satiated, grinning like fools into each other's skin as they basked in their love and post-coital pheromones.

Unfortunately, they could not stay. Admitting their love for each other did not change their life circumstances. Aethyta had furrowed her eyebrows in frustration at that, but had accompanied Benezia back to her quarters, making love to her once more before they had passed out. The huntress had been gone in the morning, a quick note scrawled out in paper on her side table, saying that she didn't want to interfere in Benezia's chosen path, but she couldn't bear to be so near when they couldn't have each other, not really.

Benezia had sobbed, feeling a deep ache in her soul at the woman's absence after she had just found her again. She had looked into her location, but by then Aethyta had transferred herself to a temple as far away from Thessia as one could get and still be in Asari space. Benezia had taken the hint and left her alone. She was right – they couldn't be together if Benezia still wanted the life of a priestess. It was more than taboo – she would be stripped of her priesthood. And she had so recently been inducted into those ranks. It was what she had worked toward for more than a century.

She had moved on as best she could, taking a salarian bondmate but not being able to stomach having asari children with the woman. She had helped raise the children her bondmate had produced through a mating contract, though. She had loved that woman in her own right, appreciating her mind, and her care, and her understanding that there was someone Benezia had fallen for long ago, whom she could not be with. She had loved those children dearly, helping them grow, attending their events and graduations, delighting when they had their own children. Those children were gone now, as was the woman, and she had mourned them when they passed. She had kept in contact with her great-grand children, but after that generation had allowed the relationship to merely be a recording on a page in the family's genealogy. If someone chose to seek her out, she wouldn't push them away, but they didn't feel like family any longer.

She hadn't taken another bondmate. Unlike most of her people, it was too much pain that she simply couldn't move past. Besides, the most passionate love of her life was out there, alive, and she was instead dickering around with others, just to watch them die, all the while knowing her deepest love was alive, living her own life, a life free of Benezia. She had learned to push it away. It was too painful.

She was torn from her reverie by Shiala's voice. "Benezia? Are you alright?"

She blinked, her eyes focusing on Shiala's face. She smiled. "Yes, yes, I'm fine. Just… I got lost in my memories for a moment."


	5. Chapter 5

Benezia sat in her study, seeing to her business for the day. She was currently scrolling through several news feeds, monitoring the temple she worked with, seeing if any scandals had broken she wasn't aware of. Next to her was another mug of tea, this one being consumed with much less willingness from that morning.  _That_  tea was delicious, her usual way of waking to the day.  _This_  tea was far less pleasant, but necessary. She had lost a pregnancy in her youth; she would not lose this one.  _Especially_  if all it took was to drink the pungent tea for the first few months of the pregnancy.

She smiled in memory of that accident. It had actually been Aethyta's child. It had been more than a century since their last meeting, more than a century since she had attained her priestess status. She had ventured to help set up a new temple, something that was rare, given the ancient nature of the asari. Most of their temples already existed, but this particular system did not have a single hint of the Athame Doctrine, and while it was not the main religion of the asari, it was decided by the mother temple on Thessia that the newest system that had been colonized should have a presence from Athame.

She had journeyed to the main colony, a moon circling a gas giant, to oversee the final building. She had arrived with a delegate of priestesses and initiates, all of whom – except herself – would staff the temple upon its completion. They had marched into the temple itself, which was just awaiting the statue of Athame, and she had felt her heart nearly jump out of her chest when she saw a very familiar profile standing by the dais where the statue would be placed. The cock of the hip, the ease with which she wore her leathers, the tilt of her head… and that voice: that raspy, gruff voice, joking with the asari workers who were measuring the dais itself.

Benezia's insides did a somersault. But she managed to hold herself together, checking in with the huntress, who was in charge of the security detail at the new temple. She watched Aethyta barely keep her professional mask in place; she clearly had had no idea that Benezia would be the priestess who would be overseeing the completion of the temple. They'd held up their act, discussing business, having Aethyta lead them personally to the living quarters, which were blessedly complete.

It had seemed to take an eternity to get the dozen priestesses and initiates bedded down, but at last, Aethyta, professional mask still firmly in place, had led her to the guest quarters, set apart from the priestess' living quarters, where she would live for the duration of her stay on the moon.

* * *

_Benezia's breath just wouldn't come steadily. Her stomach was performing somersaults, and she wasn't sure if she was going to be sick. Her sex pounded with blood, her arousal almost palpable. The scent of her love surrounded her, clinging to her just as solidly as the woman herself had, more than one hundred years before. It took all of her self-restraint to not run, to not push the huntress ahead of her so they could get to her quarters more quickly. It had been more than an hour of politely nodding and listening to what the head of her security detail had to say about the state of the temple, about their safety during its completion._

_Her breath hitched when Aethyta turned around, a slight scowl on her face as she stood in the center of Benezia's room, arms crossed over her chest as she studied the priestess. Benezia took a moment to study her face once more. Aethyta had aged, but it was subtle. There were lines around her eyes, and her skin had darkened slightly. Her scales were slightly more visible, and Benezia longed to reach out and feel them, see how this marvelous creature's skin had changed with the almost one hundred fifty years they'd been apart. She also wanted to see if the scales on her whole body stood out as those upon her visage did…_

_"Stop undressing me with your eyes and tell me what the fuck is going on." That gruff voice broke through her contemplation, making her eyes focus on deep, deep blue irises._

_Benezia furrowed her brows. "You speak as though I have… engineered this surprise."_

_"You didn't?"_

_"No, I did not. Though I confess I am only feeling joy…"_

_Aethyta seemed to crumble. Apparently knowing that Benezia had respected her wishes and had not come here knowing Aethyta was there was enough for Aethyta's barriers to crumble. In two steps she was in front of the priestess, drawing her into her arms and covering her lips in a kiss._

_Benezia's knees went weak, and she was sure she was only on her feet because of the strong arms now encircling her waist. She buried her fingers in the front of Aethyta's jacket, searching for clasps that eluded her._

_It had been far too long._

_A growl got her attention, and Aethyta pulled back from their blistering kiss. "Going right for the prize, huh?"_

_"I love you, Aethyta. The Goddess has brought us together in Her temple, and I plan to have your skin touching mine as soon as I possibly can," she responded, pulling the other asari's face to hers once more, capturing her lips in the fiercest kiss she'd ever been the one to initiate. Aethyta made short work of her dress, depositing her naked, trembling from loss of contact, upon the bed as she quickly stripped herself._

_Benezia gasped as Aethyta's hot skin came in contact with her own. She pressed herself as close as she possibly could as she kissed the other asari, pulling the huntress's body down on top of her and encouraging a gyrating motion in her hips. This ground Aethyta's leg down into her sex, covering the huntress's leg in her fluids as her body responded positively._

_"You got yourself all worked up," Aethyta observed, smirking down at Benezia as she pulled back slightly. The sight above her took Benezia's breath away: dark indigo skin, crisscrossed here and there with scars that were new to the priestess; full, heavy breasts suspended between them; well-toned muscles bunched to hold her up. Benezia's heart skipped a beat, thundering back in time a moment later._

_She clasped her hands behind Aethyta's neck, pulling their lips together once more as she softly caressed the huntress's neck folds. When they finally separated, she panted out an answer. "I have been waiting a very long time to find you, Aethyta."_

_"So you've been trying to find me?"_

_She shook her head. "No. I respected your wishes. But I cannot deny myself when you are presented to me outside my own machinations. I am not strong enough for that."_

_Aethyta smiled warmly. "Neither am I, Nezzy." It was the first time the huntress had used a nickname for her, and for some reason it made Benezia's heart flutter._

_"Shut up and make love to me, Aethyta. I do not know how much longer I can wait."_

_"Yes, ma'am," the huntress replied, her eyes fading to black as she slid her body down Benezia's, trailing kisses – and her tongue – until she met the wet, swollen folds of the priestess's sex._

_Benezia gasped at the double assault, Aethyta's tongue venturing out to probe at her entrance as the huntress's mind requested entrance. Benezia dropped her carefully constructed walls, not wishing to leave anything from her love any longer. But Aethyta did not go sifting as other asari lovers she'd taken often did. There was no need for barriers with this woman because Aethyta did not go after what was not offered freely. If Benezia wanted Aethyta to see something, she would have to show her._

_Instead, Benezia focused on the feel of Aethyta between her legs, on the image of her own sex she could sense through her connection with Aethyta, on how lucky she was to finally, finally, get her love back, against all odds. Surely this was the "true love" that was so frowned upon in asari society, the notion of which no one could handle, because if it was true, and if they could also not bond with another of their own race, then their lives would be cold and alone for the majority of it, the echo of a perfect love who died haunting their dreams. Well, Benezia had found her perfect love… and she was incredibly good with her tongue._

_Benezia cried out, sensing a profound smugness coming from her lover. She was glad – focusing on a "love of destiny" in a Joining was not exactly a good way to get your lover to take you seriously. Unless that lover felt similarly._

_Aethyta introduced two fingers to the equation, growling, "Pay attention, woman. I love you, too, but I'm kinda trying to do something, here."_

_"Oh, Aethyta," she panted, pulling on the woman's crest. She needed to kiss her, taste herself on her lover's lips, have her body pressed into her. Aethyta obliged, using the upward motion to drive her fingers deep inside of Benezia. Benezia cried out, a scream cut off by Aethyta's lips as the huntress held her fast. The driving penetration coupled with the other asari's mental presence – and stroking thumb – were too much, and she was driven over the edge, bucking her orgasm, bringing her love with her into ecstasy._

* * *

She smiled as she remembered that reunion with her bondmate. She had stayed on the moon for weeks, coupling nightly – and sometimes daily – Aethyta eventually not even bothering to go to her own quarters. It had been… wonderful. Everything she had ever dared to dream of.

They had learned a great deal about each other, trading their history from the past century and a half. They had fought, but they had also talked about the future. Aethyta looked into the process for a requesting a transfer to the temple in Armali, since that was where Benezia's estate was. Benezia conveniently ignored the voice of warning in her head, which tried to remind her that if she bonded and produced children with another asari, she would be stripped of her position and condemned to a life without the temple. She couldn't help it – it was the only time her happiness had not been touched by even a hint of bitterness.

But then the temple was complete, the priestesses trained, the huntresses who would stay had completed their training, and Benezia could not ignore her life any longer. She had promised her love that she would call her when it was time; that she would somehow make it all okay. She did not tell Aethyta that she did not know how she would do that. She also did not tell her about the tiny mind that had touched hers the night before, informing her that she had flirted with the deep Joining too many times and had conceived a child with another asari.

Her heart had beat in panic as she had left that moon, all alone on a small asari transport. She'd had no idea how she would fix her predicament.


	6. Chapter 6

"There you are, Aethyta."

Aethyta turned her head in the direction of the voice to find one of her best friends and supporters in the Council of Matriarchs.

"Ryori, glad you're here early, too."

The other matriarch with the light blue skin and the almost-black facial tattoos smiled, holding her hand out so they could clasp wrists briefly in the familiar asari greeting. "There is no way I would miss out on this particular meeting."

They began to walk together, heading toward the main Council chambers. Aethyta could feel the other matriarch's eyes on her. "What is it, Ry? You're staring like a turian at a strip-joint for the first time."

Ryori snorted. "You always  _did_  have a way with words, 'Thy. I just wondered what you thought this little  _meeting_  might be about. Your bondmate is firmly in their camp, afterall."

"Don't remind me." Aethyta shook her head. She really wasn't clear on why she and Benezia worked so well. They had completely different opinions on how the asari as a race should comport themselves.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. Aethyta had managed to convince Nezzy over the years that the asari people should change, otherwise they would eventually run the risk of being walked all over by the other races. What differed was their opinion in the way their people should achieve that change. Nezzy favored the traditional "long" view most asari held – be a calming, peaceful influence to the galaxy as a whole, and enact change slowly.

Aethyta thought they should knock a few heads around, start a few brawls, throw a few elbows and let everyone know that the asari weren't fucking around.

They had agreed to disagree long ago.

It made these Council meetings a little difficult, though, because Aethyta was a hothead, and she knew that made her bondmate's life a little more difficult. But she just could not keep her mouth shut when some idiot decided to be, well, an idiot! But matriarchs didn't like it when you called them idiots, especially out loud in front of the entire Council. Especially when you weren't even a fellow matriarch. Especially very traditional asari from old, influential Houses – neither of which Aethyta was. Her father was krogan, her mother a commando from a family that did not warrant a House name, and she was the true product of both of them. She would not be cowed by offended glares from old ladies with sticks up their asses.

Really, Aethyta and Benezia should not even have had to be on this Council together, but Benezia's status as both the sole survivor of House T'Soni and a retired member of the Athame priesthood had allowed her to be a member of the Council earlier than normal. Which meant that their opinions and ideas often clashed. But Benezia was patient, and never belittled Aethyta in front of the others. And Nezzy wasn't even in charge, anyway, so it was never  _her_  that Aethyta was arguing against. Which had probably saved their marriage more than anything else had.

In answer to Ryori's question, Aethyta merely shook her head. "How the Hell should I know what they want? They called us here to 'talk.' I fully expect to be yelling at someone within ten minutes."

Ryori snorted again, shaking her head and smiling. "You always do, 'Thy. You always do."

* * *

_Aethyta didn't know what to do. She wanted to yell at someone, but who the Hell was she going to yell at?! She looked at the letter on her omnitool once more._

_**Aethyta,** _

_**I cannot come to you like I promised. Our reunion, while wonderful, is simply forbidden, and I have no way of halting my commitments to the Temple. Please try to understand, love. It is not that I do not want you. It is that I cannot leave.** _

_**Please do not ask me why.** _

_**All the love in my heart,** _

_**Benezia** _

_This was varren shit, completely and utterly! What did Benezia mean, she 'couldn't be with her'? They had agreed! They had lain together, Joined in the aftermath of lovemaking, night after night and planned a life together. Aethyta would work for the temple in Armali, training huntresses and defending the temple from any threats. Benezia would continue to be a priestess in Armali, and they would join wrists like asari of old. They might turn a few heads, sure, but Benezia was over that… right?_

_Maybe she wasn't…_

_Was it because Benezia was still so concerned about her reputation? She loved Aethyta – the huntress knew it, beyond the shadow of a doubt. But with Aethyta absent, would all the fears and insecurities come crashing in? Would Benezia crumble under the pressure? The priestess did not know any other life, and she had not had to rely on herself in the way Aethyta had. Aethyta understood – as much as was possible for someone not of that life – that this was a difficult thing for the T'Soni heir to do. In fact, choosing to be with Aethyta was probably the most difficult decision Benezia had made. But Aethyta thought Benezia was done with all of that caring about her status and others' judgments._

_Was this really still getting in their way? Aethyta couldn't believe it. She raged, throwing a biotic temper tantrum in her room. It never occurred to her that something could have changed, some circumstance that Benezia was unaware of when she left might have made itself known, big enough to completely derail their plans._

* * *

Aethyta sat lost in memories as she waited for the meeting to begin. She had been so outraged when she'd gotten that letter from Nezzy. She had decided to Hell with it and finally resigned from the Temple, immediately joining a merc band and taking her temper out on the hothead recruits who would try to overpower her with their guns and their muscles, laughing at the idea that such a small  _woman_  would be training them. Asari weren't female, and in any event she could easily land them on their backs without even needing to use her biotics. Then she'd often fuck their brains out for good measure. That usually got them in line, and that merc group had gotten quite the reputation as an organized military force.

But that had soured after a decade or so. She was still angry at Benezia, but mostly she was incredibly sad. Her Good Life had been taken from her by something as inconsequential as Benezia's  _reputation_. She had been sure their love was stronger than that. But she wasn't so angry that she had to beat on and then fuck every tantrum-throwing male – turian, krogan, batarian, you name it – that decided to try to take her down a peg. So she left.

And then she found him. Weeps With The Sorrow Of A Lost Love. She snickered even now to think of his soul name. But she knew how important it was for him to share it with her, and that it came from a deep place of sorrow within him, from a love like hers that could never be, and which he mourned every day. Their relationship had been so  _different_  from all the others she'd ever had. Hanar weren't very physical, and her unions with him were purely ones of the mind. He had gentled her temper, teaching her some of the ways hanar dealt in politics and in interactions with others when they themselves were not physically powerful. They had produced a daughter together, who had been the light of her life and taken her attention away from Benezia for a while.

But he died eventually, as all short-lived species did. Her daughter stayed for a while, but eventually succumbed to the normal wanderlust of her people and went off dancing and mercing around the galaxy. She barely even wrote anymore. Aethyta had taken another bondmate, this time a turian female, and they, too, had lived together and made a child, along with the turian's children from her deceased husband. Aethyta had once again delighted in her children, loving that they had a gaggle of them this time. That daughter was now training as an assassin, something she only shared with Aethyta during a shallow familial meld. They had both mourned the passing of the turian and her children, the last of which had passed away several years before.

She took other bondmates, but made no more children. It was too heartbreaking to have them leave, to have them have no interest in her. And when she had shared her deep love and disappointment in Benezia, it had taken her two daughters a while to accept it, so ingrained in asari society was the taboo of asari-asari pairings. Only when asked to share it with them via Meld did they both come to terms with it. And it left them feeling sorry for her, which she couldn't _fucking_  stand. So she stopped sharing, burying her love for Nezzy deep inside, durious with the woman and unable to do anything but drink and hope that a little more time would dull the pain.

It took a long time for her to learn why Benezia had abandoned her, and once she learned, she had a hard time staying mad. Benezia had been alone, accidentally pregnant, and without any other recourse but to promise the priestess helping her through her miscarriage that she would cut ties and never see Aethyta again. That asari's poisonous words about Aethyta, and the daughter Benezia was miscarrying  _as she spoke them_ , had settled in Benezia's mind and scared the shit out of her. Aethyta still wished she could go give that arrogant cunt a piece of her mind, but she'd promised Benezia when they had chanced upon each other the final time not to do anything of the sort. And as Nezzy would know if Aethyta broke her word, Aethyta kept it. Begrudgingly.

It had been a long time before Aethyta actually learned  _why_  though. But when she did, well… all was forgiven.


	7. Chapter 7

Benezia sat still, breathing and counting. This was her ritual to center herself before every one of these damned meetings. She wasn't the biggest fan of them, as she was not yet a matriarch herself, and was more than a little intimidated by her fellows in the Council of Matriarchs. It was also very difficult for her to maneuver because, as a matron still, and bonded to another asari at that, it was basically assumed that she held the popular opinion – which she did, for the most part. But Aethyta's little band of misfits certainly had some compelling ideas, which might even work, if more people thought how  _they_  did. More people did  _not_ , however, leaving Benezia in the uncomfortable position of having to smile and nod and hope she never had to openly take sides more than that. She didn't know what would happen to her various positions if she fell out of favor with the elder Matriarchs. And she did not want to have to publicly choose sides between them and her bondmate.

Just thinking about it now was stressing her a little. Redoubling her efforts, she began counting anew, breathing in to ten before holding it and then breathing out to ten. It was an old exercise she'd used in the days after her miscarriage. It had been a violent, bloody affair, her body hemorrhaging blood in an effort to rid itself of the fetus. She hadn't even been showing yet, when one morning she had awoken in the worst pain of her life, her sheets soaked, her skin covered in blood. A sister of hers in the priesthood had come to her aid, helping her through the hours of agony until she was safe to move from her room to a hospital off the premises of the temple. In exchange for her help, Benezia had confessed everything about Aethyta, and had promised to never see the other asari again, or her sister would expose her to their superiors. Being far too physically weak – and afraid – to argue, she had agreed, sending the letter to her lover from the hospital. She had not taken another bondmate, not even Joined with anyone again.

Not until that day, more than a century later, when she had happened upon Aethyta in that bar on the Citadel.

* * *

_"So this is it, then? This is what you want?"_

_Benezia smiled, nodding her head. "Yes, Your Holiness. This is what I want. I have served the Temple well, and I am ready to take on other offers I have been receiving throughout the years."_

_The face hovering above her wrist, projected by her omnitool, frowned. "I never thought one such as yourself would leave the priesthood to do business. A T'Soni, no less."_

_Benezia's smile turned a little coy. "Do you not think that maneuvering the inner circles of the Temple would prepare me for the politics of various business and advising ventures?"_

_The High Priestess frowned another moment before smirking, chuckling a little as she shook her head. "Indeed. You are probably right. Well, Benezia, you are always welcome to visit. And if you make a name for yourself, the private sector might not be the only advising position you get in the years to come." She signed off, leaving Benezia grinning._

_She was free. Free. She could do anything she liked, hiding in the anonymity of the station, and it could not come back to haunt her. It hit her then just how closely her life had been dictated by the Temple of Athame, by the fear of being thrown out or rejected by her peers. A smile on her face, she left the hotel she had been staying while she was vetted by the new organizations she had been quietly building relationships with. She had been planning her out for a long time, knowing she needed something besides the priesthood to fall back on if she ever truly wanted her independence. Becoming a business investor seemed a wise idea; she had plenty of money to invest, being the sole survivor of her House, and she had a head for the types of politics often in place in such situations from her time in the priesthood._

_Heading anywhere and nowhere, Benezia found herself in an unfamiliar part of the Wards. Seeing a bar up ahead, she decided that an afternoon drink sounded lovely and headed through the door._

_She froze, just inside the entrance._

_Sitting at the bar was a short, powerfully-built asari adorned in rugged-looking travel clothes. Benezia would recognize that profile anywhere. It was Aethyta: the short height, the boarder-than-normal shoulders, the way she sat with her legs open like the males of other species insisted upon doing. The deep blue skin looked more weathered than the last time Benezia had seen her, but just as lovely. She could almost **smell**  her, could almost feel that delectable skin, could almost taste the alcohol likely to be on the other asari's breath._

_Beginning to turn around once more, she was about to go right back out the door, but the bartender got her attention first. "Hey, now, sweet thing! Where do you think you're going? Can't I get you something before you head out?"_

_Stopping the turn, she smiled, her heart stopping when Aethyta turned around in her seat, froze, then scowled deeply and faced the bar once more. "I don't believe…"_

_"Nonsense, let me at least try to entice you with a drink," the batarian man hollered, waving her over while readying a glass. Not knowing what else to do, she walked slowly to the bar, taking the seat furthest away from Aethyta as she could. "What'll it be? A Turian hammer-bender? Krogan pyjak-juice? Or maybe the lady likes her drinks straight, like this one here?" He indicated Aethyta at the last, who glanced over momentarily before staring right back into her drink._

_"I… I suppose I could go for a nice, cool-"_

_"Oh, please," Aethyta cut in, and suddenly she had taken the batarian's place, muscling him out of the way. "I know just what you'd like." Her voice was just as Benezia remembered it, slightly gravelly, a little deep, but beautiful and seductive and speaking to every place inside of her she thought she had closed off forever. She had buried her love deep, accepting that she would never have it again, not after she had treated the huntress the last time they had communicated._

_Aethyta poured several colorful substances into a shaker, added a few ice cubes, and shook it up before pouring it with a flourish into a glass. The bartender tried to complain again, but another customer came in, and he seemed to decide the several-centuries-old asari matron could keep doing her thing at the end of the bar, at least for now. Handing the drink over to Benezia, Aethyta leaned on the bar, watching intently as Benezia sampled it._

_"Oh!" Benezia exclaimed, smiling despite her nervousness at being so close to Aethyta once more. "It's delicious!"_

_Aethyta smiled, slamming the bar with an open palm. "I always loved mixing drinks in my dancing days. Glad to see I haven't lost my touch."_

_Then the silence descended, leaving them staring at each other, smiles fading under the weight of the years that had passed._

_"P-perhaps we should talk," Benezia suggested, setting her drink down and folding her hands in her lap, a nervous habit developed to keep her hands steady when her heart was thundering in her chest. "I… there is a lot to say, if you would allow me to say it."_

_Aethyta scowled, but nodded, taking up Benezia's drink and her own and leading her to a table in the corner, which would afford them more privacy than the bar._

* * *

Opening her eyes, Benezia smiled to herself at the memory. She and Aethyta had come to a tentative understanding, and had retired that night to Aethyta's apartment and made love, slowly and tenderly. Benezia had stayed the next morning, awakening next to her love for the first time in over a hundred years. A day became two, and then a week, Aethyta not asking when Benezia would go even though the thought lingered in the back of her mind when they Joined. One week became two, and Aethyta helped Benezia take her few belongings from her hotel to stay in her apartment while Benezia conducted her business on the Citadel. Two weeks became a month, then two, and finally, after several months, Benezia asked to stay – permanently.

Aethyta tried denying her, tried citing all the times Benezia had hurt her, all the times other things had scared Benezia away. Benezia in turn had offered to share with Aethyta precisely why she had left that final time. Aethyta reluctantly agreed, and when she saw their lost child in the meld, saw the pain and fear and anger Benezia had been forced to go through alone, she wept. And when Benezia presented the Bonding bracelets she had acquired the day after she had encountered Aethyta in that bar, Aethyta accepted without question, finally assured that Benezia was done running.

Benezia was willing to publicly Bond to another asari, one from a lower House, a foul-mouthed, prone-to-brawls daughter of a krogan whose quickest solution to every problem was to hit it, preferably with a fist wreathed in dark energy. Benezia had stayed, asking nothing, showing only her love. And Benezia wanted to stay forever. Aethyta could not say no to that.

They had held their own private ceremony for their lost child, Bonding not long after on Thessia in the spring.


	8. Chapter 8

Aethyta scowled as the room filled up. She sat quietly, not talking much with Ryori, which was unlike her, but something about this mysterious Council meeting just had her on edge.

She had only entered her matriarch years in the last decade. As she started attending meetings – urged on by Benezia, since they  _lived_  in Armali – she couldn't keep her mouth shut. She was outspoken from the start, pissing everyone off immediately. Well, everyone from the old Houses, who had been in the political majority for centuries. The matriarchs from lower Houses, and those with no House at all, started talking to her, however. She started gathering something of a following within a few years, and now, completely unintentionally, was a spokesperson of sorts for what was informally being called a "reformationist" movement. These asari thought Aethyta was on to something, in favor of making several swift changes that would likely leave the galaxy reeling – but which no one but the krogan would even remember fifty years from now.

She had actually first told her ideas to Benezia, who scoffed and told her it would never work, the asari simply didn't work like that. But over time, Nezzy had responded positively to the idea of at least debating the pros and cons, finally admitting that Aethyta really had a point. But only privately. She was still in favor of taking a long damn time to enact changes, and she thought they should be set in place one at a time, but the very fact that she thought Aethyta was  _right_ about something political? Aethyta would take it. She had fought long and hard with the woman for that admittance, and Aethyta considered it a victory. Damn, but that woman could be more stubborn than a krogan male about to mate.

Her attention was drawn by the eldest of all the matriarchs taking her seat, from where she presided over the meeting. Asari government was not a centralized thing, but there sure were a fuck load of traditions, one of which was that the eldest present would act as mediator. Unfortunately, the oldest asari usually meant the one with the biggest stick shoved the farthest up her ass, in Aethyta's experience. She was also firmly entrenched in the traditional way of doing things. This woman  _hated_  Aethyta – and the feeling was most definitely mutual.

Order was called, and some blowhard got up and began to speak to the room.

"I am sure all of you are wondering why this special meeting was called. We feel we have not given our sisters, the ones in the so called 'reformationist' camp, a chance to really speak, to air their grievances with how things have been done, to speak their mind about how policies ought to change. This is a forum for that, with no arguments. We are here to listen to you."

Aethyta scowled. As the asari around her began to speak, clarifying what they meant by the purpose of the meeting, and then beginning to speak about the changes they felt ought to be made – a more centralized government, a stronger military force, getting young asari maidens to do something with their lives in their young, strong years other than mercing or dancing – Aethyta could not shake her skepticism.

Tuning it out, she let her eyes wander, eventually resting upon her bondmate across the room. Damn, but that woman was beautiful. She was practically glowing, her smile lighting up the room. She turned her head, probably also letting her mind wander – she'd heard it all before from Aethyta herself – and caught Aethyta's eye. Her smile broadened, causing Aethyta's heart to fall to the pit of her stomach for a moment, just as it had every time she'd seen the woman in her youth.  _I am like a damn child with a crush, even after all these years…_

It was true. Every day she had a hard time getting over how fucking  _lucky_  she was. She'd somehow made the heir to the T'Soni House  _love_  her, and she had no fucking clue how she did it. So every morning she made herself get up, even though she hated getting up in the morning, just to double-check Benezia was still there. And she always was. At first it had been done in a panic – she'd been sure Nezzy would leave in the middle of the night. She hadn't made any promises to stay, after all. But she was there, every morning, sitting at Aethyta's breakfast table reading the morning's news on her omnitool and sipping at her morning tea. It wasn't until they were bonded that she stopped making her way into that room with apprehension in her heart.

But all was not always well at home, either. Benezia's lack of public support was troubling to Aethyta. She didn't need her bondmate to support her in order to make an ass out of herself, but Aethyta would have liked it had Benezia at least  _acknowledged_  that her ideas had some merit. Maybe Benezia could even start to change the minds of her peers? They had fought about it, but Benezia would not budge. Something about being thrown out, losing credibility, some stupid bullshit Aethyta admittedly had a hard time understanding – credibility had never really been something she cared much about. But when Benezia showed Aethyta how far-reaching the consequences could be – her investors might drop her, the Council might shun her, the Intergalactic Council on the Citadel would definitely stop seeking her advice – she dropped it. It was unsatisfying, but she wasn't making any headway.

Perhaps she needed to call her out in public instead? All she wanted was some acknowledgment. Nezzy didn't even have to say Aethyta was right; she could simply say that the ideas themselves had merit. She was a T'Soni; surely her word, her stamp of approval, was good for something?

"Matriarch Aethyta, you're the unofficial leader of those speaking," the voice of the elder rang out. "Do you not have any words for us this day?"

Aethyta's scowl deepened. Why had they sought out her opinion specifically? She stood, knowing not to ignore Her Royal Pain In The Ass when directly spoken to. "I didn't have anything specific to say, no. I think my sisters have covered it pretty well."

The elder's expression soured at being addressed to informally, causing Aethyta to internally smirk. She didn't know why, but she always enjoyed making that woman uncomfortable. "I see. There is nothing more you'd like to share? Nothing you'd like to clarify before this meeting adjourns and we consider your proposals?"

Aethyta narrowed her eyes. There  _was_  something, but Aethyta hadn't been stupid enough to share it with anyone public yet. A few friends, Benezia, and a scientist friend she know, who might have some idea of how feasible the idea really was. Had someone blabbed?

"Fine, I'll bite," she mumbled to herself, knowing she was digging her own grave, but irked enough to not care too much at the moment. Louder, she announced, "I think we ought to look into building new relays."

The reaction was immediate, and mostly what she expected. Surprise, murmuring, outright laughter – all surrounded her, even from those who tended to agree with her. Shouts that they didn't even know how the relays worked struck her, and she grew angry.

"And that doesn't  _bother_  you?! It doesn't worry you that we used this technology to  _hurl_  our daughters across the galaxy at unimaginable speeds, and no one even knows how it  _does_  it?! We should be educating our daughters, studying this tech, building our defenses, and find out what the  _Hell_  happened to the Protheans that wiped them out so it doesn't happen to  _us_!"

She was met with silence. Her face was hot with her anger. Not even her sisters surrounding her supported her now, not with her true thoughts finally exposed for all to ridicule. Frustrated, she lashed out at the only sympathetic person in the room.

"Nezzy. Don't you think what I say has some validity? Don't you think I'm at least a little bit right?"

Nezzy was the only one in her camp who did not scoff or laugh, but neither did she speak up in Aethyta's defense. And now that Aethyta had revealed the reason  _why_  she thought all these things were necessary, Nezzy sat with a look of utter shock on her face.

"Well?" Aethyta prompted, scowling up at her bondmate from the floor. "What do you have to say?"

Nezzy stood, a poised look coming over her face. Aethyta recognized it instantly as the face she'd worn when writing Aethyta off so many times, and the older asari's heart sank to her gut.

Clearing her throat, Benezia spoke. "No, Aethyta. No, I do not think you are right. Not in this."

And with those words, Aethyta's whole world, the life she'd built, the happiness she thought she had, was revealed to be less important than being right in front of Nezzy's peers. Aethyta knew that face, and it pissed her the  _fuck_  off.

Turning, Aethyta stomped out of the room, ignoring the noise that rose behind her.


	9. Chapter 9

Benezia rushed home. It had been incredibly difficult to extricate herself from that meeting. The elder had cornered her, questioning her about Aethyta's outlandish ideas. It took every denial Benezia had to free herself from the elder of the Council, and every shred of poise she possessed to keep from panicking. And now she rushed, Shiala confusedly running after her to the waiting transport.

There were no lights on in the house when the transport touched down. Approaching the main doors cautiously, she stepped through with a pounding heart. "Aethyta?" she called, listening for some sound of her bondmate.

"'M in here," came the grunted reply. Making her way tentatively to the kitchen, she found Aethyta, both hands pressed into the counter, facing away from Benezia in the dark.

"Lights, dim," Benezia commanded, wanting to see her bondmate's sweet face. "Aethyta-"

"How could you, Nezzy?" Benezia expected Aethyta to be angry, but at the moment she sounded… calm. And cold. It worried Benezia. "How could you do that to me? I thought you said my ideas had merit? I thought you might at least admit  _that_  much in front of those crotchety old ladies."

"Aethyta, please, love. Turn around. Look at me?" Aethyta did so, crossing her arms as she leaned back against the countertop with a scowl on her face. "You know I can do no such thing, not right now. I would be a laughing stock. I am like a guest on the Council, and to be so outrageously radical in my alignments would be political  _suicide_  right now!"

Aethyta frowned. "So that's what this was for you? Just politics? That woman  _cornered_  me, Benezia! Someone I had confessed about the relays to blabbed, and that woman called me out specifically to  _mock_  me. Your bondmate. Your One Great Love. That's what that entire meeting was about, Benezia. Don't you see? And you let it happen. You sat there, and you let them make  _me_  the laughing stock instead of you!" Aethyta's voice rose to a shout at the end, leaving her pushed away from the counter's edge, panting with her frustration and rage.

Benezia couldn't help getting defensive. "What was I supposed to do, Aethyta?! Defend your crazy ideas? Lose everything I've built by supporting your strange notions?"

"Yes!" Aethyta shouted exasperatedly. "Politics should not come before your  _marriage_ , Benezia! Why do I get the feeling this is our first meeting, all over again? You can't align yourself with non-traditional views. You can't be seen with someone from such a low House. Well, you married me, Princess! The damage is done! So why can't you just admit that I have a damn  _point_?!"

Benezia was stunned. "I… This is  _not_  the same, Aethyta!" It wasn't, was it? Those fears had not haunted her for  _years_ … "No, it is not the same as all that, Aethyta."

"Right, sure, whatever you say, T'Soni," Aethyta responded, her voice dripping sarcasm. "This is  _exactly_  the same, Nezzy.  _You_  are putting your position, how others see and judge you, above me. More importantly, you're putting all that varren crap above what we  _made_  together! Or have you forgotten that just this morning we had our  _daughter_  blessed by the Temple?! Or that we lost a daughter, and I couldn't be there with you because of the same fear of others looking down on you!"

"Leave the child out of this, Aethyta. This is between you and I only."

"Don't you see, Nezzy? She should be what matters, not your investments, not your political position, not your advisory boards. Family comes first, sweetheart, and if you can't see that, then I honestly don't know why I'm still here!"

"Fine!" Benezia shouted. She never shouted. But she was angry. This was not  _fair_! Were they not past all that? Could she  _never_  live down her mistakes? "Perhaps you should not be here, then, if you do not value any of the things I do for you."

"Any of the things you do for  _me_?" Aethyta blazed. "You can't just slap a bracelet on my wrist, set me up in a mansion, and give me  _fuck_  all else, Nezzy! I'd give all this up in an instant for  _one_  word of support in front of that damn Council! But no!  _You_  can't risk 'losing face'."

"Aethya, love, I have a duty to my House…"

"You're the only one left in it!" Aethyta shouted, lost to her temper, as if the pain had been building up for centuries to this into one singular moment. "You ever think about that?! You can't have a  _duty_  to a dead House, Nezzy!  _I_  am your House.  _Our daughter_  is your House. You have a duty to us! That's more than just food, shelter, and clothing," she ticked off the words on her fingers. "It's love, Benezia, and devotion… and it's something you've forgotten how to do."

"What do you mean?" Benezia asked, shaken to her core, feeling once more the threatening presence of her bondmate, the beautiful maiden commando she had fallen for all those years ago. But the gentleness was gone. Before her stood the warrior, and she was angry, and she was hurting, and she would not be denied. It made Benezia tremble. She had never been the focus of Aethyta's ire like this, not without at least the undertone of the other asari's desire along with it.

"It was easy, wasn't it?" Aethyta's voice lowered. "Seeing me that last time, making noises about 'needing to talk'. Getting Bonded. Was it because you walked in there, saw me, and thought to yourself 'maybe this is something I can unfuck', out of some sort of bizarre penitence?"

"I  _love_  you, Aethyta!" Benezia cried. "So much so that I defied all asari traditions for you! We  _made a child!_ _ **Twice**_! Should her very existence not stand as a _thousand_  words in front of 'that damn Council,' as you term them?"

"Fuck no!" Aethyta sneered. "You defied what  _became_  asari tradition! How d'ya think we got this far, Nezzy? Before we found the damn relays? Before we found out what our bodies were capable of? Before your goddess-damned Council  _ruined_  our daughter's future because they decided that what always  _had_ been shouldn't fucking  _be_  anymore!  _Those_  are the kinds of changes you're letting them make!"

"So that our daughter's future will  _not_  come to ruin!" Benezia fumed. "So that when they look at her, they will think of  _me_  and let their prejudices fall away. Before you accuse me, think of  _that_ , Aethyta! Perhaps my actions today had  _nothing_  to do with you at all."

Aethyta was silent for a long moment. "Perhaps they never did." Without another word, she left the room, Benezia hearing the swish of the front doors.

She would be back. They would fix this in the morning. Wouldn't they?


	10. Epilogue

"So… that was it? You simply left?"

Aethyta sighed. "Yeah, kid, I did. I'm not proud of it. But… she'd hurt me too many times. I wasn't about to come back seeking her out. She needed to come to me; or that's how I felt at the time, hurt as I was. And… well, she never did. And I was too damn proud once you were born to try to reconcile. I allowed those _cunts_  in the Matriarchy to laugh me right off of Thessia, and it wasn't until after Nezzy died that they sought me out to look after  _you_."

Liara took a delicate sip of her tea, causing Aethyta to roll her eyes. The kid was a damn  _prude_. "I… thank you. For telling me. I truly thought you were ashamed. I had no idea… you loved her so much. She was always… somewhat sad, I think, especially knowing what I now know. Perhaps it was regret? Perhaps she was so involved in all her political and religious dealings because that was all she had left. If only she knew you still loved her."

"Hey, you listen to me, kid. I  _loved_  your mother with my entire being, almost my entire life. We just… couldn't figure out how to keep the other shit from getting in the way." Pausing, she took a swig of her own drink before continuing. "I wish I had gotten to know  _you_. I've loved you, too, kid, from afar. I wish I could've kicked those kids' asses for calling you filthy names in school. And I wish I could've taught you how to pilot a transport. Mostly, I wish I could've found a way to be involved at  _all_. But it was too painful, for both of us, and for  _that_  I'm truly sorry. I can never make that up to you, Liara."

"Well," her daughter said slowly, looking up from her tea. "I'd certainly be willing to let you  _try_." Smirking, she added, "The Eclipse commandos are certainly a large step in the right direction."

Blinking stupidly for a moment, Aethyta finally let out a crack of laughter. "I like you already, kid!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand here's the end! This has been a challenging and rewarding project to work on. I'd again like to acknowledge all of Word Krush's work on helping me refine the idea - and giving me the original smut prompt that it was born from! As well, I'd like to thank both Raven Sinead and Diablo Kades for betaing this for me. I hope you all enjoyed this, and that it helped shed some light on a possible explanation for what happened between Benezia and Aethyta to split them up so irrevocably.


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